It seemed like hours as I walked through the forest, I'm sure I've only been walking for five minutes or so. It's around three in the morning, I guess. I'm not sure of anything right now. I left the camp at my own expense. I didn't bring food, water, or even weapons. I don't need them to die. Why would I want to die? I don't know. It seemed like the smartest thing to do. There were only six of us left: Katniss, Peeta, Thresh, Foxface, me, and of course, my district partner Cato. I left him all the supplies in hopes that he'll win this game. If it isn't me who's going to win I'd much rather have it be him. I want Cato to win. Me? I would just slow him down.
We all know who is more adept for winning the games, and it's him. I leave behind the last line of trees and reach a wide opening. On the other side there are more trees, but between me and that other forest is a gushing river at least five to six feet wide. The game makers must've decided to make the currents faster tonight. They know I don't need the water, so they make it my obstacle. Clever. I look towards upstream, the water looks like it could be relatively calm up there. I turn my head and look downstream. I never reached the end of this river. A waterfall, maybe? I don't want to find out. I'm not that desperate to die.
I sit near the water's edge, the cold rocks are almost freezing but the air around me is fairly hot. I lie down on my back, hands behind my head. I guess I could stargaze. Now, I know the sky is fake, and the stars are too, but ever since I was a kid I enjoyed looking up at them. Each star shining as brightly as it could, standing out among the thousands and blending in among the millions. Maybe that's what it means to be a tribute, people notice you everywhere but to the Capitol you're just like every other person in Panem.
I close my eyes in an attempt to sleep, hoping I don't wake up anymore to make it easier. As everything was about as quiet as it could get I hear a rustle in the trees behind me. Cato? I doubt he'd go looking for me. I left him sound asleep. Could be Thresh, maybe I could die by his hands. It could be Foxface, although she hasn't shown up yet. Katniss and Peeta? Highly doubtful. They could be muttations, but I hadn't heard any canons. At least one person dies of those things. I slowly open my eyes and stand up, facing whatever I'm up against. I regret not bringing any weapons now. The rustling of undergrowth become louder and a male-statured shadow comes to vision.
Okay, it could be Cato or Thresh. I stay calm and alert. The river is still racing, and there's no use in running upstream or down. I guess it's my time to go. I inhaled deeply. "If you're gonna kill me, do it quick." I shout, I try putting confidence in my voice but the words come out as shaky as ever. A laugh broke the silence and the figure came into perfect view. "Why would I want to kill you, Clove?" My body seemed to relax but my heart started to race. "What are you doing here, Cato?" I snapped at him, like I was disgusted to see him, so I turn around and sit back down waiting for his answer.
Has he been following me the whole time? He isn't much of a stealthy person. I would've heard him right away. Maybe I did but was too lost in thought. What time is it anyway? Almost dawn, maybe. The sun could rise any minute. I almost forgot he was here until he sat down beside me. He was a good distance away, but I wish he was closer. "I'm here for you. So why did you leave me at camp alone?" I look at those beautiful blue eyes that were staring at me and feel a stir of guilt rising through me. I could suddenly feel heat in my cheeks. I hope I wasn't turning red.
I guess I stared at him for too long because he looked away. "Well?" I snap out of my trance, looking back at the stars. Should I tell him the truth? Or make something up? I guess it wouldn't matter what I tell him. "I felt like it." I'm not sure if my voice is still shaky so I whispered. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him look back at me, his eyes filled with confusion. "Excuse me?" He says. I look at him with a smile. "You heard me." He exhaled through his mouth and lied down, my eyes followed him. "Were you even planning on going back?" I didn't answer, which made him do a little smile.
I love it when he smiles. His dimples show, his nose scrunges up, his eyes close a bit. It's really cute. It makes him more... human. He caught me staring at him again and snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Don't do that," I scolded him, "and no, I wasn't planning on going back." He sits back up, worried expression in his face. "Why not? Did I do something wrong?" His voice sounded so innocent I almost laughed. "No, you di-" "So why were you going to leave me?" Was he always this demanding? I guess so, he is Cato. I managed to smile at that thought, but he seemed to frown. "Why are you smiling?" I wiped the smirk off my face and lied down, he followed my lead. I turned to face him and he did the same.
We're staring at each other. I don't move but he leans in a bit closer to my face. I hope I'm not turning red. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "How long have we been in here?" he whispers. The sun is starting to rise turning the sky and the scenery around us a beautiful golden yellow. "Where? In this river or in the games?" "The games." Cato had a worried look on his face. Was there something he's not telling me? What if he wants me to leave? Well, that was already my plan so it won't matter if that's what he wants. I lean in a little closer 'til our foreheads touch. His eyes shot open. With the sun reflecting from his eyes it looked almost golden. "It's been about a week, big guy. You were never the one to care about how long we stay here." I say jokingly.
Has it really been a week? I'm really not sure. Cato sighs and sits down, I do the same. The river seems calm now. When did that happen? Nevermind. I look at his face, searching for an answer. His expression was blank. He was never the one to hide his feelings, but I can't seem to read him today. "There's something I need to tell you, Clove." I don't move, I don't answer. I just waited in silence. We're wasting time sitting down. Claudius Templesmith, the freaky voiceover, had announced that there would be a feast.
I sigh at the thought and brushed it aside for now. "Clove?" he whispered. I could tell that he was nervous. Whatever it is he's going to say, it must be important. I looked at him as expressionless as possible, "Yes?" I answered back. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You know what? Nevermind." He stood up. Cato dusted himself and trudged off. I stood up immediately and grabbed his arm. I didn't pull hard but I guess he understood what I meant, he just stopped where he was. He looked over his shoulder, looking at me. I let go of his wrist and stepped back. With the sun shining on him the way it is, he looks like a golden statue with golden blue eyes.
That small scar above is right eyebrow started dripping blood, golden red. "Clove, I..." he took a deep breath and turned to face me. His body built tall and strong, exactly for the games. Did his parents have so much pride and confidence in him to make him face his death? Do they think he would win? Or was it an act of ignorance, not wanting a child in the first place? I swallow the thoughts down my throat. He lifted his hand and gently placed it on my cheek. I could feel all the heat in my body rush to my face. I winced, but he didn't let go. "Clove I want you to win."
The words left his lips and crash-landed onto my chest. It was impossible to breathe. "Cato," I whisper, "Cato I left so you would win." He leaned in toward me, his lips finding the nape of my neck. "I don't want to win if it means losing you." he whispers to my skin. His hot breath danced across my shoulder. I closed my eyes and tears just started to collect. How long have I been feeling this way? How long did this emotion go unnoticed? Or should I say... How long have I loved him?
I inhaled deeply and held my breath for a few seconds. I can still feel him on my neck. His lips moved upward, gliding on my skin. I let out a sigh. He found his way to my ear. I can hear him breathing. He whispered softly, "I love you." I felt a sharp knife pierce into my heart, which is pretty ironic if you ask me. I took in a sharp breath and froze. I held the hand that is on my cheek. His lips fluttered on my skin once more. I opened my eyes and his were staring right at me. I have no idea on what to do.
I gulp down the pool of saliva forming in my mouth. He licked his lower lip. Considering how close we were it could've brushed against mine as well, or at least I hoped. "How long have you..." my voice trailed off. He closed his eyes and smiled. "I don't remember." he says. He moved in closer and his lips pressed against mine. The heaviness I felt earlier was instantly gone. I closed my eyes as well. The moment I was getting into it he pulled away. I was slightly panting. The sun was a bit higher now, not as golden anymore but brighter than ever. "I love you, too." I kissed him back, but not as long as his.
I let go of him and he let go of my face. He stood up straight. I completely forgot that he was like twice my height. I wiped my mouth of the wetness his lips left and smiled. He smiled too. He offered his hand for me to take, and I held it without hesitation. I didn't say a word and neither did he. We walked back to our camp hand in hand.
We will win this together no matter what or die trying in each other's arms.
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